Thursday, May 5, 2016

Ti's Review - My Commander (Bewitched and Bewildered #1) by Alanea Alder



How do I start this review!!! This book was hilarious, romantic, scary, aggravating, and so much more. But the biggest thing, I couldn’t stop laughing! I cried from laughter most of the book and couldn’t put it down. I was hooked form the very beginning. Now this review is going to be a lot different than my other reviews because well……………. you will just have to see. I promise you, you will laugh.

In the beginning The Alpha Unit (you will find out about them when you read the book, no spoilers here) are talking about their mates and how to find them. Well events happen and Meryn finds herself in a paranormal world, captured by the Alpha unit. When she is locked away in room by Aidan, The commander and leader, she freaks out. (For good reason I mind you). Aiden tells Meryn she is his mate and things go downhill fast. Meryn hits Aiden on the head with the lid of the toilet bowl (classic) and tries to escape. After calming her down and talking things out. She is relaxed and has tons of questions. Mind you while I’m reading this whole scene I’m busting out laughing because Aiden had it coming, you don’t kidnap your mate, lock them in a room and attempt to feed them stale food.

Events continue which I won’t spill because you need to read the book but I will talk about “The Mission” and trust me this will have you rolling. Meryn is starting her period and tells Aidan what it’s like for a human and let’s just say he didn’t take it well. He thinks she is bleeding internally and will die.

“Since it happens every month I don't think she'll die from blood loss. What's the mission?" Darian asked. "She needs tampons. Evidently it helps with this process. We have to secure the location of where they are being sold, acquire them and then get them back to my mate post haste." "You can rely on us Aiden.”

So the men head to the nearest store to purchase tampons for Meryn. When the guys find the tampons they are not sure what size to get and Keelan freaks out when he finds out what they might do.

“Sir, I don't know if these are safe. There is a warning about toxic shock syndrome. These things can kill!" Keelan dropped the box he held and wiped his hands on his pants. The other men immediately dropped the boxes they had been holding.”

Aiden freaks out at this point and then from nowhere old man Bart (I love this man) tells the guys to buy the pack that has multiple sizes. So the guys grab an armful of tampons and go to check out. Bart asks about Aiden’s Mate and  advises him “Better get you some chocolate bars. You can throw those from a distance” At this point I think the guys are terrified for the girls and Bart is having a good laugh.

The book has is steamy moments and its fun. But there are parts in the book that are dark, scary and makes you feel bad for the characters. I was attached to this book the moment I started reading it. Once I was done with book one I bought the rest of the series. I can’t wait to see what the other mates are like and if any of them can compare to Meryn (she is a special breed of human) I have a feeling, this series can only get better and I hope there is a mission in every book!




Quotes:

-“Holy shit balls! Papa bear is freaking awesome!” Meryn whispered. Five sets of eyes immediately went to her. She stepped behind Aiden. She heard guffaws and peeked out to see the fea Elder was laughing and wiping tears.

- Somehow, knowing that her badass mate was going tampon shopping made her cramps a little easier than normal.

- “Better get you some chocolate bars. You can throw those from a distance”

-“Since it happens every month I don't think she'll die from blood loss. What's the mission?" Darian asked. "She needs tampons. Evidently it helps with this process. We have to secure the location of where they are being sold, acquire them and then get them back to my mate post haste." "You can rely on us Aiden.”

-“I am not cute. I am a ferocious killing machine. Paranormals everywhere tremble before me."

"My teddy bear.”

-“Why are you being loud? Is it fun being so loud, this early in the morning? Do you know what happens to loud morning people? They die. They die horrible deaths, mutilated in their sleep, and are then buried with their balls in their loud fucking mouths.”

-“You're doing just fine. You've done everything exactly as I would have done. Have you studied battle strategy?" he asked. "No, but I do play World of Warcraft." "Sounds useful, you'll have to show me later.”

-“Sir, I don't know if these are safe. There is a warning about toxic shock syndrome. These things can kill!" Keelan dropped the box he held and wiped his hands on his pants. The other men immediately dropped the boxes they had been holding.”

-“What are these? They look like scars." Meryn glanced down and realized he was talking about her stretch marks. Had he never seen stretch marks before?”
“Those are called stretch marks."
"Stretch marks? How did you get them?"
"Human females get them when we grow. If we grow too fast our skin rips apart and heals. It's a very painful process." Meryn lied through her teeth. There was no way she was going to discuss stretch marks after the most mind blowing sex of her life. Nope. Wasn't going to happen. Aiden's expression became reverent.
"Human females are amazing creatures, you endure so much pain yet are so fragile." He kissed each shiny line.
I'm going to hell.”

No comments:

Post a Comment